Wrong Punctuation Usage Gains Government Backing

Note: I was in the mood to point out an injustice today, but all I could come up with is this very British punctuation problem. Meanwhile, the ground hog went back into his hole, eager to escape his annual ritual of barbarity. God save the queen and large rodents too.

I wasn’t an English major while in college, but I did attend a liberal arts school that was big on stressing writing across all subjects. Even though I was a business major, term papers and other writing projects were a way of life, something I came to expect each semester.

From high school through college and throughout the working world, I’ve always had to write papers, submit reports, build business manuals, you name it. In most cases I’ve done rather well with my work, though I’ve had my struggles with punctuation and the occasional improper use of grammar.

But, I’ve been stickler to uphold generally accepted writing rules even when those rules change on occasion. I keep a copy of The Chicago Manual of Style near by, but only thumb through it when I’m stuck. For the most part, if I need to find out whether to use an em dash or an en dash or resolve some other mystery, that answer can easily be retrieved online.

My early struggles with punctuation has helped me to fine tune that aspect of my writing, so much so that I don’t mind proofreading aviation manuals and the like to look for mistakes (yawn!) What I don’t like is finding habitual punctuation errors, wholesale corporate endorsed changes that can make the grammarian in me cringe.

British English Tosses The Apostrophe

In Birmingham, United Kingdom, it seems that the government there has embraced a policy where the apostrophe has been eliminated — that all important punctuation mark which denotes a possessive or can also be used in contractions such as in don’t, won’t, couldn’t, etc. In England’s second most populous city, the vaunted apostrophe has been officially banished as a possessive so that the queen’s English now reads queens English.

Ugh.

Apparently, the “apostrophe free” movement in Birmingham has been going on since the 1950s when the government began to drop them from street signs. That habit has spread to other signage around the city to where Acock’s Green now reads Acocks Green. Sheer laziness!

Behind the city’s push to officially drop apostrophes is an argument on what to call the suburb located just south of Birmingham center. Kings Heath is no longer owned by the monarchy, thus making for a compelling reason why the apostrophe has been dropped in “modern” times.

Blaming TomTom?

Then there is the more practical 21st century argument — GPS units may get confused by an apostrophe. Birmingham city councilor Martin Mullaney, a proponent of nixing the apostrophe, claims that units such as TomTom don’t use apostrophes to identify landmarks, as adding them in creates confusion. GPS devices are used by citizens as well as by emergency personnel to find their way around the city’s labyrinth of roads.

However, a TomTom representative claims that most people search for Birmingham locations by means of a postal code, but for those who do search by location name a list of choices is returned before the apostrophe is needed, as in the case of St. Mary’s Road. From there, users can choose the right address and get their directions.

Messing With English — Not On Their Watch

I always thought that there were some sort of British Society for the Preservation of the English Language Once Delivered, but have learned to my surprise that no formal national body exists. Instead, groups such as the Plain English Society have taken up the mantle to preserve the language, taking corporations, governments and individuals to task by being “…against gobbledygook, jargon and misleading public information.”

And it is a good thing too. While Americans have been inventing various post Modern English words for decades, the language deconstructing poison has now spread to the homeland of one of the world’s richest languages, the very nation that birthed a tongue that is widely spoken by hundreds of millions around the world.

It doesn’t appear that 10 Downing Street has plans to dispatch an envoy to correct the wayward punctuation practices of breakaway Birmingham in the near future. Thus, it is up English language wordsmiths the world over to come together to fight this scourge, saving the apostrophe from certain ruin.

First the apostrophe goes, then next they’ll be after the beloved semi-colon — a move that will cause my caustic sophomore year Language Arts teacher, Mrs. Pinever, to roll over in her grave.

May God save the queen…and the English language too!

7 Grammar Gremlins You Must Exorcise!

Some of the most painful writing lessons I have learned came under the tutelage of my 11th grade English teacher, Mr. Perkins. He was a tough nut — whenever a writing assignment was submitted, you would receive two grades. The first grade would score content, the second scored grammar and punctuation.

I remember seeing plenty of 90/10 grades as Mr. Perkins took off a full ten points for every grammatical and punctuation error. Was that fair of him? Probably not, but what it did do for his students was to force us to pay extra special attention to our work. I think I ended up getting a “D” for the class, not a particularly good grade for someone who was trying to build up his writing confidence.

Decades later I still have my struggles, but they are comparatively minor and easily overcome especially when I take the time to review what I have written. Are you hassled by grammar gremlins and their punctuation pals? Let’s take a look at some grammatical mistakes worthy of an exorcism:

Exorcise v. Exercise — Admittedly, I rarely see the word exorcise used. I just wanted to highlight a word I placed in my title and mentioned in my opening paragraphs. Exorcise means to remove evil spirits while exercise is the body movement too many couch potatoes avoid. Worth Noting: I have seen exercise spelled excercise, which is incorrect.

Your v. You’re — This mistake crops up all of the time. Use your when discussing what someone possesses, e.g. your cat, your job, while you’re is a contraction of you are.

i.e. v. e.g. — I won’t get into the Latin meaning for these two widely used abbreviations, but i.e. means “that is” while e.g. means “for example.” There are times when either Latin abbreviation could be used in a sentence, but what is being conveyed is quite different.

Center around v. Center on — How can you center around anything? You cannot. You can center on or focus on something, but not around it. Think about it!

Lose v. Loose — This mistake keeps rearing its ugly head. If you lose something, that item is missing. If you loose something, you have let something go.

Less v. Fewer — This is my most insidious gremlin. Use less as you would use much; use fewer as you would use many. Remember this rule: Less/much is for noncount nouns while fewer/many is for count nouns.

Than v. Then — I believe I have all but vanquished this gremlin, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone uncovered this mistake in some of my earlier writings. Than is used for comparative purposes such as, “I like apples more than oranges.” Then is used for conveying time — “Back then, we used typewriters for report writing.”

There are many more grammar errors not mentioned herein which are worth subduing the moment they rear their ugly heads. Even the most experienced writer can slip up, but catching grammatical errors before publishing will quickly cast out the dirty devils before they have an opportunity to make you look foolish.

Mr. Perkins was my worst nightmare way back when, but I have to believe the tough lessons learned ultimately have been more helpful than hurtful.