Don’t Make Me Laugh!

Some of my job inquiries are a real hoot

Most of the work that I do is freelance writing with SEO and other marketing stuff secondary projects. Yes, I get the usual requests: please optimize my pages with select keywords, link these pages to other pages on our site and include outbound links, etc. That is a given when I write web content — my clients want an added benefit to go with the words that I write and I happily comply.

Not every job inquiry is something that interests me as the proposal has enough holes in it to walk through. Pay is too low, the research required necessitates using suspect sources, or the topic is simply not something I’m all that keen about covering — ladies hair products, for one!

Last week, I received one of those inquiries that wasn’t worth a response. Almost always I reply to messages sent via my contact forms or directly to my email inbox, but in this case I decided not to answer. The problem with the inquiry was this:

• We would like you to review a variety of car models and write these reviews along the lines of this site (withheld by me).

• Because it isn’t possible to actually drive each car, you can obtain reviews elsewhere on the internet and use those to write your article.

Well, in my book, what this person wanted was for me to plagiarize my work. Sure, I can certainly write about a car based upon the work available online, but I can’t “fake” driving one and basing my article on how a car sounds, feels, turns, starts, stops, etc. Moreover, the inquirer was from Europe and a number of the vehicles to be featured are not on American highways (Skoda, Fiat, Renault, and Peugeot to name a few). My ability to even write a halfway sensible article would  have to be based upon personal experience, not the review of another writer.

As I said, I didn’t respond to this person, choosing to laugh off his proposal with derision. I’ve had similar request to cheat in the past and I treat each one the same way — good-bye, so long, farewell….

I Referred A Project To You Today

Well, perhaps not to you — then again, maybe it was you.

One of the advantages of bringing in customers through the internet is that I am able to provide the same level of work that a client would get from an on-staff writer, but from my home office. The client saves on labor costs while I don’t have to commute. At the rate that I am not driving, it’ll be another 17 years before my 2001 sedan needs to be traded in.

I have my busy times and I have my slow times, but there are also those projects that come my way that aren’t a good fit for me. For example, when someone queried me about writing hair care products I had a laugh — I’m almost as bald as a plucked chicken. Besides, I really don’t know much about hair care for women, therefore I referred this person to someone who I think does.

Which brings me to the point of this article — I will gladly share your contact information with someone especially if I cannot take on a project.

No, I am not looking to compile a list of writers — your blog gives me a good clue of what you can and cannot do — nor will I necessarily jump in the middle and play the go-between role. I figure if someone contacts you about work, then that a feather in your cap, not mine.

At the same time, I’d rather you deal with this person directly and come up with your own business agreement.  I think that works out best, lest you feel that you are obliged to me in some way which you are not.

I may not have referred a project to you today, but then there is always tomorrow.